Beauty Queen

I'm beautiful, smart and charming. But I'm also overweight, underheight and overaged. There's just no way I can be allowed to join, much less win, a beauty pageant. And no, don't even suggest that I join those Mrs. Something pageants, they would still require me to go through liposuction--a procedure I'm too scared and too broke to undergo. Besides they would require me to present a husband since I cannot be a certified Mrs. without one. Trust me, my left foot has more chances of winning Ms. Universe than I have of bagging a husband. And we're not even talking about finding a good one.

But I digress.

The real objective of this post is to tell you what I did about my situation. Like most women my age who had the chance to play with a Barbie doll for at least 2 minutes when they were still little, I once had the delusion that someday, when I grow up, I will be a beauty queen. As an aside, 'di pa kase uso sex bomb nun eh, 'tsaka mura pa Barbie ;o)

But, unfortunately, because of the reasons cited at the beginning of this post, that delusion has remained just that, a delusion. Not one to quickly accept whatever fate deals me I decided to do the next best thing: find someone with all the qualities of a beauty queen and take part in training her for the crown.

Early this month I spent a day coaching Shan, the 16-year-old daughter of a good friend in time for the Miss Teen Philippines pageant. Incidentally, they are holding the coronation tomorrow night and I'm really hoping that she'll get the crown. Please pray for her.

Because of my training as a publicist I was able to help change her mindset about some things and teach her how to attack questions and situations with wit and grace. In the process, I was able to draw her out of her shell.

I'm really grateful that I was given the opportunity to help this kid, in my own little way. She has a lot of potential to really make it someday. Proof: when she was barely 14, she won Ms. Photogenic in the local Supermodel contest sponsored by Ford. She's a nice kid, soft spoken, opinionated, well-bred, and a classic almond-eyed morena ala Tweetie de Leon, only taller. Give her a few more years and she'll start making waves.

I'm really proud of her, especially since I used to fool around with her when she was still a cute, spunky little girl.

God bless you, Shan! Whatever happens, never forget that you are one blessed girl.

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Now I'm off to train the Stage Mom. Some sample lessons:

LESSON #1:
Be able to distinguish between good and bad role models.

EXAMPLE:
Assunta's Mom - Bad role model
Ruffa's Mom - GOOD role model, hehe.

LESSON #2:
Know the right places where your kid must hang out. The main objective of this lesson is to ensure that your daughter will not only end up with the son of a billionaire, but that she won't end up with someone who looks like a drug-addled hobbit with a homesexual tendency.

Want more of these lessons?

Hehe. May bayad na. ;o)