25 and 105

These numbers will be my mantra for the whole of 2005. 25 inches and 105 lbs. Yup, my goal for 2005 is to have a 25-inch waistline and to keep my weight down to 105 lbs. Currently my waistline’s 28 and I weigh a little over 120 lbs. I want to be healthier. My scoliosis has been giving me hell and my doctor said the only way to go is to lose weight. Thank God, these are achievable goals. In fact, I think I only need the first 3 months of the year to work on these.

But before I lose weight and trim my waistline I need to find a guy who would think that I’m absolutely amazing and adorable at my current weight. I want someone who would look past my skin and appreciate me for who and what I really am. I want someone who would feel the urge to hug me when he looks at me from the neck up and not from the neck down.

Some women work so hard and spend so much money to look beautiful so they can have an endless coterie of adoring, salivating fans wherever they go. Sometimes I envy them and I start thinking of ways to sort of remedy my situation. But I always end up getting bored. Maybe it’s just not for me. Maybe I’m looking for a different kind of ego-kick.

Or maybe I just miss that gorgeous hunk of a man who likes women with big thighs, or that good old buddy who said “maganda lang ang payat pag nakadamit.” Maybe. Maybe.

Or maybe I’m still reeling from knowing that the rocker who wanted to take me seriously back when I weighed almost 150 lbs. is now happily married. Now I just can’t help but think that it could have been me had I chosen not to ignore him. Oh well.

Now that I’ve come to think about it, these guys never really needed beautiful women to feel secure. They know what they really want and they just go for it, no matter what people may say.

*sigh*

I may be lonely but I’m secure that I’m loveable just the way I am. It’s just a matter of hooking up with the right guy, not some inflated egghead who thinks he deserves to sleep with a goddess, even if he himself is a long shot from looking like a Greek god.