Level 1 Happiness and other realizations

I am not an expert at this thing called happiness. Sometimes I get extremely happy over the most mundane things and sometimes I get depressed over some things that could easily make others literally jump with joy.

But recently I’ve been thinking about what makes people happy. Or, rather, what makes ME happy. That’s when I realized that happiness is not only relative and subjective, it also has varying degrees.

Level 1 Happiness - This is the basic happiness. It’s the feeling you get when you find a knock-out pair of shoes at 80% off, or you chance upon your favorite, and oh-so-hard-to-find Arce Durian Ice Cream at the supermarket, or you pop a whole piece of Go Nuts’ pastillas de leche doughnut into your mouth after 2 weeks on Atkins, or when you get a free make-over at Beauty Bar just before a hot date. In short, it’s the kind of happiness you get from tasting, touching, smelling, and/or looking at some tangible thing. It’s fleeting happiness.

Level 2 Happiness - This is a feeling that’s not dependent on what you can see, or touch, or smell, but rather on some experience, like an achievement or the fulfillment of a long-time dream. It’s the happiness one gets when one passes a crucial final exam, a job interview, or when one reaches a milestone like a writer finally seeing her byline in a major newspaper, or one’s book landing on the bestseller list, or winning a National Artist award. It’s happiness that’s dependent on how well you are doing or how well you’ve done something.

Level 3 Happiness - When you make another person happy, that person’s happiness becomes your own. You’re happy because you know you’ve actually done something good for someone other than yourself, like God, a loved one, or even a complete stranger. It’s the feeling one gets when one joins the Church’s music team, or one does some charitable work, or one decides to sacrifice for another person like when one donates an organ, say a kidney, for a sick loved one.

I think Level 3 Happiness should be the ultimate goal of everyone. It’s the only kind of happiness that lasts. Unlike the happiness one gets from owning a pair of shoes, this kind of happiness transcends fashion and other seasons. It doesn’t fade with time.

Achieving dreams may seem like the ultimate happiness but, come to think of it, can fame, respect, reputation, adulation and tons of money really define one’s life? I don’t think so. My resume is good only when I’m looking for a job or trying to bag a huge contract but it can never define who I am. Besides, once a dream becomes a reality it ceases being a big deal. There will always be higher mountains to climb and bigger kingdoms to conquer.

I am only starting to learn the value of aspiring for Level 3 happiness. For most of my life I have been content with what pleases me, what’s good for me, and, sometimes, what other people think is good for me. Sure, I’ve experienced Level 3 in many forms throughout my life, but most of the time, whether consciously or unconsciously, I still focus on the mundane things.

I am still so selfish. My standard of happiness is still dependent on how everything conforms with my idea of what should be and how things should be.

I wish I could finally have the courage to love unconditionally, to give without expecting anything in return, to really learn to sacrifice for the sake of others. I want to be more understanding, caring, accepting, and kind, and not always jaded and retaliatory.

I really want to be happy.