A BIG Offer & A Change of Heart

Yesterday I was offered a BIG project that's so unexpected. It's one more reason for me to praise and thank God.

Apart from being financially rewarding, working on this project would help train me for a personal project I plan to work on this year. This personal project would allow me to significantly move towards the vision that God has shown me. I am soooo EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have so many reasons to be happy. God never fails to amaze me. He always allows me to realize my dreams despite my inadequacies. Thank you God.

-------------

These past weeks I had been grieving over a lost love. I've realized that the relationship I wanted to have has more cons than pros. This realization has caused me so much pain. Just the other day I was praying to God to take away the pain and allow me to move on. As always He answered, He took away the painful feeling--just like that! This is not the first time something like this has happened to me, a clear sign that it is really time to move on. Other people are amazed at my seemingly extra-ordinary ability to let go when it is time. What they do not understand is that it is God who allows me to heal supernaturally. Without divine intervention I would not be able to cope. And my God knows that.

I still love the guy dearly and I know I would keep on loving him. But I also know that it is futile to hold on to the dream of us ending up together someday.

Here's a beautiful poem by my favorite poet Christina Rossetti that eloquently describes how I feel right now:

If I could trust mine own self with your fate,
Shall I not rather trust it in God's hand?
Without Whose Will one lily doth not stand,
Nor sparrow fall at His appointed date;
Who numbereth the innumerable sand,
Who weighs the wind and water with a weight,
To Whom the world is neither small nor great,
Whose knowledge foreknew every plan we planned.
Searching my heart for all that touches you,
I find there only love and love's goodwill
Helpless to help and impotent to do,
Of understanding dull, of sight most dim;
And therefore I commend you back to Him
Whose love your love's capacity can fill.