The Friendship Factor

"Passive hostility is a troublesome snake in the grass of friendship."

I have been reading this book "The Friendship Factor" upon the recommendation of my bestfriend. Last night I read Chapter 12, which is titled Being a Nice Guy Gets You Nowhere. The chapter confirmed my belief that nice guys aren't what they cut themselves out to be.

I've never really liked "nice" people--the type who are non-confrontational, the people-won't-listen-anyway-so-why-bother-to-explain types. I've always thought that they're too good to be true. And I'm right, if I'm to go by what this book says.

The book said some really truthful facts about nice guys. It said nice guys are:

DULL - In the long run, most of us still prefer the company of people with passion. They may aggravate us at times, but at least they do not bore.

INEPT AT SHOWING LOVE - If he cannot show anger, he is inept at showing love as well. His emotions are so tightly controlled that he has no range.

AND without knowing it, he poisons his relationships with his passive hostility.

I must admit that I've been working hard at being nice lately. Ok, I admit, I need to be a little bit nice! But I still would rather be known as a woman of passion than one with the personality of a rubber eraser. I just can't imagine goin through life and not being able to show the people around me that I am a total person with real emotions, that I'm not a helpless little rug they can use to wipe their asses anytime they feel like doing it.

And this is not pride.

I realized God made me with these emotions--I need to use them for good. God can sometimes use our anger, for instance, to make people see the truth or to propel us, and others, into action. Things would only get worse when we pretend we're ok but deep inside we are seething. We would eventually end up being ruined by our own repressed emotions.