Friendship at a distance

How do you help a friend who is bent on self-destruction? What is the best thing to do when all your efforts to help have failed because the person simply chooses to remain stubborn and refuses to listen?

It is very difficult to remain a friend to someone who deliberately wallows in desperation. You become wary about getting too close for fear that her desperation may somehow rub-off on you. You become exasperated with the endless tall tales and overly romantic and dramatic delusions.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to just walk away.

But then guilt engulfs you and you end up asking yourself—am I a friend only during good times? The desire to help remains although you know that all your efforts are bound to fail.

Praying for the person always works, of course, most especially when you no longer have the strength to be by her side and hold her hand. Even so, the nagging desire to put some sense into her head remains.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder—am I being too self-righteous? Why can’t I just let things be and let God deal with her? She is God’s daughter too, after all. I’m sure God won’t allow her to completely lose her sanity. But then she also has free will. She can willfully choose to be stubborn and to insist on believing that everything will work out just the way she wants everything to work out.

You thread on dangerous ground even if you are just trying to help because you know that one wrong move from your end can lead her to do things you don’t even want to imagine.

So you just pray and wait and watch from afar.

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