Conclusion: Men Are Stupid!

I arrived at this conclusion after 31 years of loving, hating and living with men. Before any males out there start pelting me with rotten tomatoes let me tell you how I arrived at this conclusion. You see I am the only female in a household of four, which includes a charming 4-year-old I shall refer to as Baby S., an almost senile-but-would-die-before-he-admits-it 71-year-old whom we shall call Mr. Dad (for obvious reasons), and a 25-year-old single-dad we shall call Mr. Bro. (also for obvious reasons). I’ve managed to live harmoniously with them and I will never trade them for any family in the world.

For some unexplainable reason too, I have more male friends than female friends, although my BEST friends are mostly females. The male friends I have are already the type you can bring home to Momma. Most of them are the tactile, artist types who you can hug and talk with (and not get bored) for hours. Sometimes they can even give you the feeling that they can take care of you for the rest of your life. Yun nga lang, sometimes lang, and the feeling doesn’t last for more than 5 minutes. They’re the type who can appear to have depth—deeply intelligent, spiritual, and emotional—although of course that’s just not possible because, well, they’re males.

Unfortunately, despite the admirable positive qualities of the men in my life they have one thing in common: they are all stupid. Let me cite a few recent examples:

1. Just this morning Mr. Dad and Mr. Bro. had another one of their arguments. Mr. Dad got mad because Mr. Bro. did something that might cause Mr. Dad some embarrassment. But instead of telling him the real reason for his outburst he said so many things that didn’t have anything to do with the real issue which angered Mr. Bro., prompting him to respond defensively by, you guessed it, saying hurtful things that did not have anything to do with the issue. They get into this kind of argument all the time. Instead of confronting the issues at hand, they raise their voices and say things that don’t have anything to do with the issues at hand.

2. Two weeks ago I went out with three of my childhood friends. Since one of the men in our group had been based abroad for many years now the only other man in the group, let us call him Mr. B (as in BIG, he is the tallest among my friends), took charge of leading us to where we wanted to go—a restaurant in Glorietta 3 that we were all familiar with. As we were walking around Glorietta I could sense that he doesn’t have any clue how to get to where we wanted to go. But instead of asking for directions from the rest of the group Mr. B toured us around the mall and led us to (drum rolls, please!) the foodcourt at Glorietta 4!

3. The guy in this last example has been the cause of my depression since the start of this year. Let us call him Mr. CB (for Clueless Boitoi). I love this guy dearly, and, for a time, I had reason to believe that he loved me too. After not seeing each other for almost two months now, and after promising to see me as soon as he gets back from the other end of the world this guy stood me up for some flimsy reason. When I got mad he thought I was just stressed out and needed some time to cool off. After wearing my heart out on my sleeve he still doesn’t have a clue that he’s the reason for my depression.

So, you see, men are really stupid. They’re made that way I guess. I have reason to believe that when God said it is not good for men to be alone He probably saw that they were stupid and needed someone wiser and that’s why He created women.

But despite the stupidity of the men in my life I cannot help but love them and I know that I can’t live without them. Now tell me, does this make me, urhm, stupid-er?!