It's a gloomy Monday. I want so much to tell you what happened in the last few days but I don't want to start crying. My rhinitis is acting up again and crying would only make matters worse. Let me just say that I'm disappointed, disgusted, and confused. And I'm sad. Terribly sad.
I wish I could go away, lock myself up in a cabinet or drawer, feel nothing but the air coming out of my screwed up nostrils. I wish everyone would go away. I wish they would all stop pretending they care when in the end I know they won't be there.
If I could, I would take up Buddhism or some other religion that would make me numb to all kinds of emotions, make me numb to pain. I just don't want to 'feel' right now. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of asking 'why?' I'm just plain tired, I guess.
I tried to change, God knows I tried. I was willing to settle for something temporary. I was willing to settle for something that was just plain amusing. I was willing to loosen up and just be happy with the way things are.
Oh, yes I tried! And now I'm miserable.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment