Bash of the gay bachelors

Almost two weeks ago Nette and I went out of our way again to deceive ourselves once more. For the second year in a row, we oohed, ahhed, screamed and threw all our inhibitions to the wind as (almost) naked men paraded and gyrated before us. It didn’t matter that we knew that almost 80% of the 69 gorgeous men before us have questionable sexual preferences.

I’m talking about the Cosmo Bachelor Bash held at the NBC Tent. Once again we found ourselves inside the VIP section right before the stage. But unlike last year, when one of my clients was a sponsor, this time we had to jostle our way through and literally fight for our space near the stage. Since I am claustrophobic I had no choice but to stay away from Nette and her officemates who were able to bully their way to the very front of the center of the stage. I had to content myself as I stayed on the ledge were one of the cages was set up. Male macho dancers showed their acrobatic skills inside the cages several times during the show, since the theme was Club 69.

I was able to watch, up close, this very makinis macho dancer who had the face of a Greek god, nice set of teeth, and pink nipples. But he didn’t have any effect on me because he’s got really tacky green and red tattoos on his forearms and he speaks with an unmistakable kanto boy accent. Sayang! (Tattooed guys are sexy but to anyone contemplating getting a tattoo, please, please let a real artist do the work, it’s going to stay on your skin for a long time!)

I didn’t know that watching a man light a cigarette can be so sexy until Christian Vasquez came out on stage half-naked, and yes, lighting a cigarette. Now all I want is to have him hanging on a harness from the ceiling of my bedroom. I used to see him wearing shorts and tight sandos almost everyday at my old gym and he never really struck me as THAT drop dead gorgeous! Spotlights and shrieking fans really do wonders. And of course it helped a lot that we knew for a fact that he is straight.

The program last year was better and more exciting. Plus the men on last year’s list were yummier. The host last year was also so much better than this year’s. The host this year was screaming throughout the show and sounded like “nagtitinda ng tilapia sa palengke,” according to her make-up artist who made the comment while sitting right beside me.

Some of the girls who joined the “sexy contests” really took advantage of the model-guys that they had to lick and kiss. One of the girls, who was wearing a micro mini skirt even jumped on one guy just to kiss him, in the process showing one of my companions that she’s got her monthly period and was actually wearing a napkin with wings! Oh well, cant really blame them since it’s not really everyday that one can kiss such good looking hunks. Well, at least that’s the case for some women. hehe. :oP

But one guy I can never forget was this obviously repressed gay who stood right next to me on the ledge. He was a normal-grim-looking guy with short hair and a red shirt, and one wouldn’t think that he is gay. All throughout the show he strained his neck to seriously ogle at the guys on stage, and huge beads of perspiration continuously trickled from his forehead, which was really odd because we were only a few feet a way from one of the air-conditioners.

*A tip for girls—if your goal is to bag a guy don’t go to the Cosmo Bachelor Bash, instead find a way to get tickets to FHM’s 100 sexiest women gig since most of those who go there are real men. But be aware that most of these guys are the supposedly “classy pero manyak” types, unless of course that’s what you really want.